Cycling commuters naturally fall into bike 'tribes'. But in a door-to-desk race, who takes the gong? Let's find out
Glance around during rush hour and you'll spot all manner of bike riders: dawdlers in suits and dresses, racers in revealing Lycra and simplicity-craving single speeders. These are just some of the cycling "tribes" that can be identified by simple clues such as their choice of bike, wardrobe and riding style.
Just like Galápagos finches, they have evolved to fill different niches based on their needs. How far is the commute, what needs to be carried and are there showers at work? And of course, fashion plays a large part, too.
Unlike natural selection, though, we have a choice over which species to become. But have I made the best choice, or are my wheels just stuck in a rut? I decided to find out by mocking up an average commute and holding a "tribal commuter race", to see who could get from door to desk quickest.
The contestants: road-bike racer; fixed-gear rider, mountain biker, hybrid commuter and granny-bike dawdler.
As soon as they set off it was clear who was going to arrive first. Fixed-gear rider sprinted away at the head of a fast pack, with road-bike racer in close and streamlined pursuit. Not far behind was hybrid commuter – slowed slightly by his panniers and upright seating position, but keen to compete.
Separated by a widening gap was mountain biker, whose bouncy suspension and wide, knobbly tires were a significant disadvantage. Granny-bike dawdler, equipped with baguette-carrying wicker basket, brought up the rear – but didn't seem to mind one bit.
The slower tribes made up some time when road-bike racer's skinny, slick tyres succumbed to some gravel in a shortcut through a park. Palms bloodied and confidence shaken, he failed to recover his initial advantage. Fixed-gear rider seized this opportunity to extend the lead, hopping red lights as he went.
A few miles later and everyone crossed the finish line in varying states of disarray. Fixed-gear rider was first, but sweaty enough to star in a Lynx commercial; hybrid commuter next and only slightly less moist. Last place on the podium went to road-bike racer, who was in need of a shower and a trip to the office first aid box before starting his working day.
Just a handful of minutes behind came mountain biker, who may have won had the course involved any sudden descents through woodland, but on the day arrived late and panting. Mere moments later came a grinning granny-bike dawdler, pulling up at the finish line slowly, but as fresh as a daisy.
Once you factor in the time taken to get showered and changed it seems that the tortoise really is faster than the hare. For front door to desk speed, the dawdler took the gong.
My experiment may have been as scientific as a climate change sceptic, but it was enough to convince me. I used to race to work, but now I'm saving all my speed for the weekends and riding my trusty Dutch bike to work – slowly. It's going well, although being in a slower tribe is taking some getting used to.
mattsparkes.co.uk
mattsparkes.co.uk
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